


An Abrupt End

by SolarisRasa



Series: Sol's Malec Whumptober 2020 [10]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Injury, M/M, Spinal Injury, Whumptober 2020, accidental magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27040036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarisRasa/pseuds/SolarisRasa
Summary: No 12. I THINK I’VE BROKEN SOMETHINGBroken Down | Broken Bones | Broken TrustAfter a few poisonous words from Camille, Alec and Magnus fight. It goes incredibly poorly, mostly for Alec.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Sol's Malec Whumptober 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953454
Comments: 47
Kudos: 272
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Did I leave this open ended? Yes, yes I did. Whoops.

“You know everything about me and I know it’s impossible to return the favor, but you won’t even give me crumbs!” 

Alec’s voice scrapes his throat as raw as his feelings as he shouts. He hates this, hates that he’s here yelling at Magnus but he can’t stop. He can’t stop and it scares him but he’s so goddamned frustrated it overrides the fear, the cold prickling feeling in his limbs and the clenching in his stomach.

Magnus is ice in turn. Alec knows he’s hurting too but apparently centuries of practice result in one hell of a poker face.

“Alexander, if I had known you were only sharing things with me to dig deeper into my own life, I might have asked you to keep it to yourself.”

Alec doesn’t flinch. This is how they fight, it always has been and it is so much of the reason they work hard _not_ to end up here. They’re both lethal with words, when they want to be or when they’re too angry to care anymore.

“I’m sorry if I find it difficult to be with someone who acts like his favorite color is a state secret!”

Magnus’ façade is cracking, it has been since they escalated to shouting, the frigid immortal showing signs of the angry man.

“Please, you were only drawn to me because I’m a mystery. Can’t resist a puzzle, can you Alec?”

On a normal day it might not mean anything, but they’ve both been sent to interview Camille, separately, in the last week and she is nothing if not a snake.

Alec can’t shake her laughing warning, that once Magnus knew all there was to him he’d grow bored, not by any fault of his own, it was just the nature of immortals. It did bother him, from time to time, that Magnus never shared much about himself. Sure there were stories about adventures with friends but all of them were carefully devoid of Magnus’ feelings and Alec’s never heard anything that’s not a great comedy, with the exception of what happened to his mother. 

“Some puzzle. You’re afraid of letting me in, maybe because you know that if you do you won’t be able to shove me in your _stupid_ box when I’m gone. You might have to work harder to forget me than to assign an arrowhead my name and stick me somewhere to be looked at when your next lover isn’t-”

Magnus’ eyes flare yellow, his muscles tight as he speaks, voice dangerously low, “You know I don’t want to forget, you know that’s not _why.”_

It’s too much. Alec might not know much about Magnus’ past, might love him anyway, but he knows enough to know that he’s crossed a line. 

Alec knows, just like he knows he’s aiming low now, like he knows that he can’t stop himself, “I know that’s what you tell yourself but at the end of the day Magnus? What is there worth remembering?”

“Stop it!” Magnus’ control breaks for one, brief, moment and his magic lashes out.

That’s all it takes, just a heartbeat. The power that rubberbands off him throws Alec back with immense force and he slams against the metal of the staircase with a sickening noise.

It’s stunning, at first. Alec lays perfectly still, crumpled under the stairs and blinks. He thinks he tastes blood and wonders, distantly if he’s bitten his tongue. It certainly stings like that’s what he’s done.

He registers a moment later that while there’s a burning spreading up his spine everything from the middle of his back down is like static. He knows, logically, that it’s connected to him but numb isn’t the right word. He tells himself to stand up, to get to his feet and his arms move to push him up, clumsy and unnatural. He doesn’t get far before he realizes his hips and legs aren’t listening.

He lays back down, breathing fast. He can’t move right. He’s a shadowhunter, a soldier and he can’t-

He squeezes his eyes shut, noting the silence. He turns his head and looks for Magnus.

Magnus’ turned away, hands shaking as he makes himself a drink and Alec doesn’t know if he should call out to him. Right now he’s having trouble thinking at all.

He knows that Magnus loves him, no matter how ugly this argument had gotten, he knows Magnus would never, ever hurt him like this intentionally. Watching his husband sigh and clearly gather himself, he figures Magnus missed exactly what’s happened.

Alec tries to speak but makes the mistake of trying to turn over properly at the same time and just groans instead. Magnus finally looks at him and Alec watches the stiff anger morph into guilt and sadness.

Magnus sighs and walks to him, holding out his hand, “I’m sorry Alexander, I should have had better control. Let me help and we can _talk_ like adults.”

When Alec shakes his head Magnus’ face goes stoney again.

“Fine. Be a child about it.” He sweeps away and Alec can’t breathe.

He can hear Magnus in their bedroom. He tries to focus on the sound, to swallow past his fear, but his airway is getting tighter.

As a leader of his people he relies on his strength, his fighting ability, and his image. Nephilim, as a rule, are harsh and if he can’t- He’s choking on air at the thought-if he can’t walk he’ll be considered useless. Not that it’s true, he knows plenty of disabled nephilim that should hold higher positions than they do, their endless dedication to research and managing the mess that was Clave admin keeping their society functional. 

Jace won’t have him to watch his back if he doesn’t get to his feet, _right now._

Alec pushes himself up again, dragging himself out from under the stairs in his effort to force himself to his feet but that burning feeling spreads, numbness sweeping after it and he collapses roughly.

The sound of it must be what draws Magnus back into the living room. Alec can’t see him where he’s laying now but he hears the way Magnus’ sigh catches in his throat and his steps rush across the floor.

“Alexander?” His warm voice is worried and then he’s there, kneeling in Alec’s sight.

He can’t focus properly on Magnus, blinking up at him and forcing out, “C’nt feel. Mag?”

The colors of the loft are blurry but Magnus’ horrified expression is crystalline as he calls magic to him. Alec closes his eyes, Magnus will fix him, he knows it.

“No. Alexander? Alec? I need you to stay awake. Come on love.”

Alec feels awful, well that parts of him he can feel do. He was already so tired and so tense before they’d started yelling. It feels, suddenly, important that he apologize.

“Sorry. Shouldn’ta listened...Ca’lle.”

Magnus makes a harsh noise, “Oh darling, we can-” He hears Magnus falter, he’s not bothered to open his eyes again, “we can talk about that later. I’m sorry too, but there’ll be time later.”

Alec grunts in response, the wash of Magnus’ magic is helping with the burning, but he still can’t feel anything lower than his ribs. He registers Magnus shifting around, doing something. Then he hears his voice again, this time on the phone though his magic hasn’t ceased.

“Cat? God, please. I need help. No, I- Cat I think I...Alec can’t feel his legs.”

Magnus sounds afraid and Alec knows that’s not good but he doesn’t want Magnus to sound that way, he tries, clumsily, to pat whatever he can reach. His eyes are still closed but he thinks he’s managed to find Magnus’ leg, “ ‘s okay. All okay.”

Magnus makes another one of those harsh sounds and Alec realizes, as he starts losing his fight to stay awake, that Magnus is sobbing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short follow up since I had so many people wanting it :)

Magnus stares at the bloom of Catarina’s magic as she does the delicate work of repairing Alec’s body. One of his hands rests on her shoulder, feeding his strength into her but he can do nothing more. His magic is capable of healing but he lacks the practical knowledge for something like this. Catarina can do it. She’s an excellent healer and she’s seen far worse than-

He did this.

Alec is unconscious with Cat pouring magic into him, face pinched in focus, because Magnus is  _ dangerous.  _ He wants to get as far away from this room as he can at the same time he can’t bear to leave. 

Their argument had been awful and he’d been wound so tight before it’d even started, the Clave and Camille pulling all of his threads loose before he’d made an off-hand, bitter comment about not being able to bury his past, even in the Guard. He’d slipped, just a split second of his hurt and anger bouncing his magic to the surface. 

He’d been so immediately ashamed he’d turned away before he even saw Alec collide with anything. When he’d realized he’d knocked his husband down he’d felt terrible, but he’d still assumed Alec was being petty and refusing his offered help. The truth is so much worse.

“Magnus.” Catarina grits out and he startles. In his thoughts he’s stopped feeding her strength, immediately he opens himself to her again.

“Sorry.”

She doesn’t answer him and he looks at Alexander’s face again. It’s slack and he’s breathing but he’s not snoring, there’s no cute little wrinkles like he gets when he’s just sleeping. 

Magnus broke his spine and left him trying to crawl toward help.

He squeezes his eyes closed and forces himself to breathe through what he feels, Catarina needs his help. After. He can do...whatever he needs to, after. 

-

“You should rest.”

Magnus nods woodenly. He’s not drinking, he’s standing in his living room staring at the wrought iron stairs, the half-made drink he’d left behind. He blinks and he can see Alec on the floor, eyes unfocused and slurring through pain.

“He’s going to be fine, Magnus, just sore for a while and I need him to stay in bed. You can go to sleep.”

“No. I-not in there.”

Catarina steps into his line of sight, her face severe, her glamour is down and the blue of her features only makes her look more concerned.

“What happened?”

She’s accepted his fumbling words until now because Alexander was in clear need, but he can’t avoid it any longer. He hopes she’s angry with him, someone needs to be, someone other than just himself.

“Camille is old, she has information the Clave wants. She refused to speak to anyone but myself and Alexander, separately. We thought...we thought we could handle it. I don’t know what she said to him, but I was...compromised tonight and so was he. We had a fight, said things-” He takes in a sharp breath, “that shouldn’t have been said. He was trying to hurt me, we’re both like that sometimes, but I was so tired and so angry and I lost it, just for a split second.”

“ _ You  _ threw him into the stairs?”

Magnus closes his eyes at the sheer disbelief in Catarina’s voice. He doesn’t deserve her faith in him.

“Magnus, Alec’s never tried to  _ hurt  _ you before.”

He scoffs, they’re both viscous backed into corners, Catarina knows that.

“No, listen! He’s said harsh things but it sounds like he was dragging out the big guns, the sort of shit Camille would’ve said to you and you would never hurt him. I’ve watched you let loose crazy amounts of power and not even muss your husband’s hair. Something about all of this is  _ wrong.” _

Magnus aches for the out she’s offering, but he knows better and the weight of how much they’ve let the last weeks affect them grows heavier.

“Of course something is wrong. I nearly paralyzed my husband because-”

Catarina grips him by the shoulders, her fingers going white with the pressure she puts on him, “Magnus Bane you stop stewing in your guilt for a minute and you focus. I don’t know what the hell has been going on with the two of you lately but even your home  _ reeks  _ of malevolent energy. Don’t you dare do the work for it and push Alec away. He’s going to be fine, but something else is wrong here.”

He stares at her, the bright white of her braids bouncing light across the bridge of her nose, making her look incandescent in her frustration with him. He stares at the light, gathers himself, and closes his eyes. He owes it to her to at least double check.

The wards hum loudly in his awareness as he sinks his senses into his magic. They’re stronger than any other in the city, here around his home, but Catarina is right. Normally the blue net of Magnus’ magic twines with soft threads of silvery white, Alec’s angelic energy layered deeply enough where he feels at home to manifest into protection. Now there’s a shadow separating the two colors. The white is clearly pushing against it but the magic of the angel’s isn’t meant to work this way, Magnus has never seen it in any other Nephilim dwelling. Alec’s support of the wards around their home is completely unique and not strong enough alone to push away the intrusive shadow. 

Magnus won’t have it a moment longer though and  _ his  _ magic is meant to be wielded this way. He burns the barrier around their home away, following the pull of it to send a painful message to the caster. He’ll care to identify the culprit later.

When he re-opens his eyes, Catarina has released him and is staring at the wall with raised eyebrows.

“There’s extra power in your wards?”

_ Ah.  _ The purging must have made them visible to her. Magnus sinks into the blue chair and shrugs helplessly, “It’s Alexander.”

“I didn’t think angelic magic worked that way?”

Magnus gives a short, dry laugh, “It doesn’t. He didn’t even know he’d done it when I asked about it. I looked into it, it’s an Alec special.”

“Someone had to know it was there, to put a barrier between it and your wards.”

Magnus blinks, she made a good point but the magic that he’d forced from his warding hadn’t felt like it was...actionable. It was just observing them, dark and with malicious intent from the caster, but just watching.

“I don’t think they did. I think it was an unintended consequence, but that rift fed back into our fight once we were home. Whoever was trying to spy on us wouldn’t have known what they were doing to the intertwined warding.” He nods, “The loop of malicious magic and our own energies being forced apart coupled with the last weeks would explain the exacerbated nature of our argument.”

Catarina sighs, “Well, at least you have the why. Now, try to work on forgiving yourself a little? You know Alec’s not going to-”

They both freeze at a muffled sound from Magnus’ bedroom. 

“Alec?” Catarina calls, pulling the door open.

“Cat. Where is he?”

Catarina glances back but Magnus can’t move forward, he’s been focused on the ward issue but the sound of Alec’s weak voice just reinforces the memory of his husband’s broken body. 

“He’s here. You’re both going to be fine. It took some doing but you’ve been put to rights and if you stay in bed for a few days you won’t have to worry about long term effects.” Magnus feels relief at the confirmation that Catarina gives Alexander.

He doesn’t hear whatever Alec says to her, thinking quickly. Magnus isn’t sure he can be trusted around his husband, not until he knows that whoever was influencing their behavior is gone and well...they didn’t really finish their argument. If he can convince Catarina to stay here until he can get Jace or Isabelle over to help then he can hunt down their spy. 

“Magnus.” Catarina tears him from his thoughts, right in front of him, her gaze sharp, “Magnus he’s asking for you.”

“I’ll come back. I need to find-”

“Magnus Lightwood-Bane don’t you dare.”

He glares at her, “I have to, I can’t hurt him again Catarina and  _ someone  _ has been watching us, who knows how long or what they’ve seen?”

“That doesn’t mean you get to run away from your husband and your guilt right now.”

He scowls, jerking a portal into existence, “Giving him some distance isn’t running. Right now I need to do  _ this.”  _

He turns for the portal when he hears a sound that he recognizes to his core as one of the worst sounds in the world. The sniff isn’t loud but he remembers, vividly, what the expression it accompanies is like, the crushed heart in his husband's eyes as he walks away. He makes himself look toward their bedroom and there he is.

Alexander, leaning heavily against the door frame and staring at him with tortured eyes, his lips pressed tight. Ever the soldier, he’s already trying to push down the way he feels and Magnus hates it.

“Please...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things but please, don’t go Magnus.” 

He can hear how Alexander tries to keep his voice steady but doesn’t manage it and the stone in his stomach grows stronger. Alec stumbles forward and Catarina makes a hissing sound in admonishment but Magnus doesn’t look away from his husband.

A tear tracks its way down Alexander’s cheek and he blinks, “Please.”

The portal stutters out. Magnus thought he would have to get away from Alec’s anger, from the blame for his own actions but of course, of course not. Alexander will undoubtedly make them talk about how Magnus hurt him, will want to understand how it happened. He cares enough for his own well-being that he’ll want to ensure it doesn’t happen again, but at this moment that’s not his focus.

Magnus loves a man who takes blame on his own shoulders. 

Catarina looks between them in the silence, “Alec, go back to bed. Magnus, go with him. I’ll be in the kitchen and if I so much as sense the thought of a portal I’ll bind you to the loft.”

They listen to her.

“Alexander-”

Alec sits gingerly, supported by pillows and looks at him, miserably, “It’s alright Magnus. If you don’t want to talk about it right now that’s fine, if you’re angry with me we can figure it out, just stay?”

Magnus sighs softly and sits by the soles of Alec’s feet, “I’m not angry, well, not now.”

Alec nods and he curses himself, he’s not doing this very well.

“Alexander, nothing you said to me, no matter how wrong or harsh, warranted my hurting you the way I did. I didn’t mean for it to happen and there was some influence in the wards that led us to the point but that doesn’t excuse my part. I wasn’t going to leave because you hurt my feelings, though you did. I didn’t want to see you look at me after I-” Magnus closes his eyes, “I broke your spine and left you to try and crawl for help Alec.”

“Hey.” Warm hands, large enough that Magnus has always felt they could hold all of him safely, cup his face and he blows out a heavy breath.

“Magnus.” 

He opens his eyes to see Alec leaning forward with a little grimace but eyes full of forgiveness and he shudders.

Then he’s sobbing, pushing at Alexander until his husband is no longer stretching his only recently repaired body and shuffling until they can lay together. Alec thumbs away the tears, whispers that they’re okay, and holds him close.

Magnus presses his lips to the curve of Alec’s shoulder and lets himself cry, feels Alec breathing through his own feelings.

“It was awful. I’m sorry...I’m so sorry.”

“I’m okay, love, I’m fine.”

They have a warlock to hunt down, hurts to undo, their whole fight to unravel, but pressed close against Alec’s warm skin is enough for now. 

Alexander presses a kiss to his hair and Magnus feels him relax, it’s enough for them both. 


End file.
